just come out here and I will go home with you...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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