he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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