hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
