you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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