Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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