can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
