I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
