Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
