just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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