Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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