im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
