and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
