it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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