whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
