I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am one with the molecules
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
