You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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