Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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