Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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