theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
