I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
