it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
