I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I currently don't understand fingers.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
