piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
