it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
