I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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