this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
