I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
