I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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