I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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