I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
