Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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