if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
