i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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