Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
