Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
