they need to just BURY HIM!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
