i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
