Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
