would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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