So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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