what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You don't make any sense
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