I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
