So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
