Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I wear drunk well.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
