So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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