My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
