she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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