I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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