He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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