come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
